YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
