my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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