i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
