Soap is not a condiment
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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