Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
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She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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