bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize