And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
