Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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