ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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