My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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