And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
