Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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