Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
