I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
