your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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