i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize