I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
