He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
