i just had sex bonerless
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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