I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
