what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
