I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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