I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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