Your face is a jimmy john
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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