Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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