I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
