In the future we'll all be gay
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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