Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just google imaged poop.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
