Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
