Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
