So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
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You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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