You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize