end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He? As in you personified your dick?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize