my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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