i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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