Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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