U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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