You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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