He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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