he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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