Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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