took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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