we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
