Small penises have feelings too.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
