i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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