She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...