Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder