She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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