He uses pillows to masturbate.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...