Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

It was kinda weird being the boss

(1-540): View more from Virginia

Did you feel like Tony Danza?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes

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(678): View more from Georgia

so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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(905): View more from Ontario

heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery

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(813): View more from Florida

Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.

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(503): View more from Oregon

we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.

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