The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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