I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU