How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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