i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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