and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize