i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
