chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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