i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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