i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
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Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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