Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
