It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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