i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
