i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Found the puke drawer
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
