Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
