i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
